The Two Sides Of You
by LittleMermaid1990
Summary: It's not that Iris just finds out he is the Flash, no, she also discovers there is a different side of him, a different life she was no part of. WestAllen friendship, kind of established SnowBarry, Team Flarrow action
1. Chapter 1

_**AN:**_**First Flash fic, yay. This will be a three parter, I think so nothing big. I'm just toying with the idea of Iris finding not only out about Barry being The Flash but a whole different life. His relationships with Caitlin and Cisco and Team Arrow. I want to explore the Barry/Iris friendship a bit here. Shipping-wise I like both, WestAllen and SnowBarry, but here I decided to go with a WestAllen friendship and a SnowBarry romance. I adore Barry/Iris as friends and whie I do like both ships, I think for the moment, Barry/Caitlin have a more interesting dynamic.**

**English is not my mother tongue, so sorry for mistakes. Also, I'm working with a new writing program that isn't doing what I want, so the editing in the beginning is a bit off. Sorry about that.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it, obviously.**

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><p><em><strong>The Two Sides Of You<strong>_

When he first became The Flash, Barry wanted nothing more than to tell Iris the truth. It wasn't just

that he was in love with her back then, no she has been his best friend since they both were kids and

he never kept a secret from her before. With time things changed. Sure he still felt guilty about lying

to her, but it sort of became a habit. She was an important part of good old Barry's life, but had no

part in the other life, the metahuman life, the hero life. As much as it bothered him to keep her out

at first, it eventually became his norm. Oliver had warned him, told him lying is something you get

used to easier than you might expect it, but he didn't believe it. At first at least. How deeply entangled in his own double life he was, first really hit him the moment it was too late.

When the cold hit him and he broke down in front of her, his only thought was _it wasn't supposed to happen. _He cursed himself under his mask. How could he have been so careless? Why didn't he notice the danger from behind? He looked up at her, she stood still. Shocked and helpless. Of course, Iris didn't know the Flash was vulnerable like that, she had never witnessed him being beaten down like that.

"Star Labs…" He muttered weak, he could feel the cold rushing through his body, finding its way slowly to his heart. Funnily enough he still managed to disguise his voice. Why? He wasn't sure, she would find out now there was no way around it, so maybe it was just a bad habit.

She gulped and helped him back to his feet and they made their way to her car. "You're freezing." She whispered. He just grunted as he fell onto the backseat. He knew it was bad, worse than before, worse than when he faced the cold for the first time.

Iris didn't question his wish to go to Star Labs in the middle of the night. She didn't question anything at that moment. She was just functioning. She wanted to panic, but she knew it was a luxury she didn't have right now. He needed her, her hero needed her. He was always there for her, there for the city helping people and now she would pay him back. She would show him how thankful she was for all the good he did, she wouldn't let him die in the back of her car, no, she Iris West would save the Flash.

The drive wasn't a long one, but for Barry it felt like an eternity. The cold was getting worse each passing second. He tried to stay awake, tried to stay in control of his body but he knew it was a lost cause. He coughed and winced in pain.

"Hold on a bit longer, we're almost there." Iris pleaded with him. She was so worried and Barry feared what would happen as soon as the mask would be removed. He wished he could tell her now, prepare her, but he was too weak.

She hit he breaks and nearly jumped out of the car. She pulled him out with all the strength she got. He leaned into her, almost too weak to walk. "Oh my God, you're almost frozen." Her heart was beating faster and faster, she didn't understand what was happening to him, but she knew he was slipping away. "Can you walk with me?" She asked. He nodded weakly.

She tried to get them inside as fast as possible, but he was surprisingly heavy. Holding him so close felt unreal to her. They interacted before, they were close before, but this was a whole new experience. Leaning against her, he felt kind of familiar. There was something about him she couldn't place. His smell, the way he moved when not on lightning speed, even the sound of his breathing. She quickly shook it off, blamed her school girl crush on him for the weird sensation. "You gonna be okay." She said, only half believing it herself. He became such a huge part of her life, that she couldn't imagine losing him now. She loved Eddie, but the man in the red suit was important to her, probably too important for her own good.

"Help!" She yelled, when they finally made it inside. "Help, please!" She wasn't sure what to expect to happen next, who would show up. She had been at Star Labs a couple of times when Barry was in a coma, but it she never associated it with the Flash. So even if she knew they were working there, it still came as a surprise when Cisco and Caitlin showed up in front of her.

"Iris?" Cisco asked surprised. "What are you…?" His eyes then landed on the Flash. "What the hell happened?"

Before he could get to him Caitlin rushed forward. "Oh my God!" She almost took him from Iris's arm. "Cisco, help me, what are you waiting for!" She snapped.

Caitlin touched the Flash's face. "Hey, hey can you hear me? Please, please say something…anything." Her voice was high pitched, panicked. Iris didn't know Caitlin that well, but she had always thought that she was collected, calm and distant.

"Caitlin, Cisco…" Iris knew it wasn't the right time to ask what they were doing here, how they knew the Flash, but she didn't know what else to say.

"Cait…" Suddenly the Flash coughed. "Captain Cold….bigger gun." It was all he managed to say, but it was enough for Caitlin and Cisco to act in lighting speed.

Iris, she just watched the scene. This time the Flash didn't disguise his voice, it was weak and she almost didn't hear anything, but she swore she recognized it. She would've recognized that voice anywhere, but it couldn't be right?

Dr. Wells rolled in, immediately shouting stuff and trying to help, he too seemed worried out of his mind.

And then it happened, just like that the mask was gone and Iris stared at her best friend, lying on a sickbed, his lips blue, his skin pale.

_That can't be true, it is a dream, just a dream. _She knew it was real. So many things made sense now. The way he sometimes acted around her, the stupid lies to disappear, why he wanted her to stop blogging, Caitlin and Cisco's involvement.

"Barry!" Caitlin's voice brought her back to reality. She walked closer, she needed to know what was going on. Cisco's hands were shaking, Dr. Wells was doing God knows what and Caitlin was crying.

"Barry please, don't leave me." Caitlin cried. "You promised me."

Barry was shaking, he was obviously in pain. Caitlin brushed her tears away. "Cisco give me the EF208." She ordered, her voice sounding far away.

"What?" Cisco's eyes widened. "You can't be serious, EF208 is only in its developing phase. It could kill him."

"He is already dying Cisco!" Caitlin was raising her voice now. "The serum was created for a situation like this. I won't let him die, I can't….I can't…." She was losing it again, cupping Barry's face with her hands, whispering words Iris couldn't hear to him. It felt like sleepwalking to her. She was there, but not really. She couldn't do anything, had no control over the situation, she couldn't even speak. It was too much to take in.

"Give her the serum!" Dr. Wells ordered and Cisco immediately obeyed. "Please work." He said. He handed it to Caitlin who rammed it into Barry's chest.

Barry started shaking and making noises Iris would never forget. It was horrible. She covered her mouth with her hands, tears running down her face. "Barry…"

"What is happening to him?" Cisco shouted at Dr. Wells who seemed just as lost.

Then the world stopped. _Beeep. _Iris thought she would pass out, the world was spinning. His heart didn't just stop right?

"Come on, Barry!" Caitlin started to shake him, crying hysterically. "Don't you leave me alone, Barry Allen, you promised me!

_Beep. Beep. Beep. _

Iris's hands were shaking. It was a miracle. Barry Allen proofed again that the impossible was indeed possible. She walked closer, she needed a good look on his face, needed to see that he was actually breathing.

He coughed and opened his eyes. The world was blurry for a moment, but then he looked into Caitlin's eyes. He reached out to her and brushed some hair out of her face. "Don't cry, Dr. Snow" He shot her a small smile before falling back into a soundless sleep.

Iris watched as they moved him into another room. Caitlin never left his side, refused to physically let go of him for a second. Dr. Wells was focused on his monitors. Cisco walked over to her, offering her a chair and glass of water.

"I'm sorry." He said awkwardly.

Iris closed her eyes for a moment and relaxed into the chair. "For what exactly? Lying to me? That I had to find out my best friend is the Flash while watching him almost die?" She knew she sounded harsh and regretted her tone immediately. It wasn't Cisco's fault. He wasn't responsible for Barry's lies or for what happened to him.

"So uhm…how did it all…you know?!" He seemed nervous, probably as uncomfortable with the situation as she was.

She nipped at her water. "Someone sent me an e-mail, telling me a guy who shots fire is attacking the Central City Bank and that the Flash…Barry….." She bit her lower lip, it seemed crazy to even associate her best friend with the Flash, "that Barry was fighting him. So, I made my way there. Barry was winning…." Images were flashing before her eyes, not just from tonight, but from all the other nights she saw the Flash fighting. It has always been Barry under that mask, _her _Barry, awkward, lovable, nerdy Barry was fighting supervillains with superpowers. "But then there was this other guy, I think I've seen him before, he appeared out of nowhere, shooting Barry with this giant gun and he fell down and suddenly he was freezing to death. And then he asked me to bring him here…." _The rest is history, _she added in her mind.

Cisco was jumping up and down like a hyperactive kid. "Never thought or _hoped _to see Captain Cold again. And the other guy, well I guess Barry had no time to check in with us before, so I have no idea. Fire you said?" He hoped it wasn't Ronnie gone crazy.

Iris nodded, she was a bit confused over the Captain Cold name but she tried not to mention it, "Like fire waves to be exactly. And he had some strange suit, I don't think he was like Barry"

That didn't sounds like Ronny. Cisco snapped his fingers. "And we have our name! Fire Wave it is or no Heat Wave, thanks Iris." He winked at her and sat down in front of his computer.

"Miss West, can I get you anything or should I call someone?" She didn't even notice that Dr. Wells left his monitors.

"Will Barry be okay?" She ignored his question and asked her own instead.

Wells nodded. "He should be fine. His vitals seem normal and he is regenerating fast. Caitlin won't leave his side, so he is in good hands."

Iris felt relieved, but at the same time she was angry. Angry that he lied, angry that he didn't trust her angry that he broke his promise to always be honest with her. _You promised me. _Caitlin's words were ringing in her ear again. _What was that all about?_

"Barry never intended to hurt you, Iris. May I call you Iris?" Dr. Wells said.

She gave him a quick nod. "Did you ask him to lie to me? Are you responsible for his powers?"

He sighed. "Yes, I am responsible and no, not directly. You should ask Barry everything once he is awake, I'm sure he wants a chance to explain everything to you."

Iris didn't particular care for what Barry wanted. Now that she knew he would be fine, she focused all her energy on what happened this night on what happened before, the lies, the betrayal. "He didn't trust me."

Cisco looked over to her. "He just wanted to protect you."

She crossed her arms. "He thought I couldn't handle it, but that wasn't his choice to make."

"No, no." Cisco waved his arms around. "There are a lot of others like him, metahumans as we call them, and a lot of them are dangerous, he just wanted you save and so did Joe –" He shut his mouth immediately. Too much information alert.

"My dad knows?" She looked between Cisco and Dr. Wells and when neither denied she laughed out loud. "Who else knows? Eddie? The Captain? Mrs. Benning, the old lady that lives next door to Barry?"

"Iris –" Cisco walked towards her.

"Don't _Iris _me, Cisco!" She snapped. "I am pissed and I have a right to be pissed! He is my best friend and he…he…." She wasn't sure what she wanted to say or do anymore. Did she want to cry? Laugh? Both? It was all too much to take in.

"We have a couch in the other room, maybe you should try to get some sleep." Dr. Wells said, his voice filled with more compassion than usual. "It was a tough night for you, Cisco will wake you once Barry is up and then you can shout at him all you want."

Iris was struggling. She didn't want to sleep, she wanted answers but her body told her otherwise. She was exhausted, her whole body hurt, her eyes were dry.

"We will call Joe and inform him you're with us. Sleep and clear your head a bit and you will feel better." Wells said again.

Iris reluctantly agreed, but she knew he was right. As soon as Barry was awake, she needed all her strength to confront him.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it and would be happy about some comments ;)<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN: **___**Thank you so much for the great response guys! I'm glad you seem to enjoy this so far. I may have to extend it to four or five parts, the story takes a life of its own lol I'll try to focus mostly on the emotional impact everything has on Iris...hope I'm getting her character. As for the villains, I have no idea what the show will do with Heat Wave, so I'm doing kinda my own version and take some from the comics.**

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><p><em><strong>Part 2<strong>_

Iris woke up when someone started to shake her. Opening her eyes she felt disoriented. She blinked a couple of times. The light around her was almost too bright, nothing seemed familiar and her head hurt like hell. "Where am I?"

"Still at Star Labs." The voice of one Cisco Ramon answered.

Looking at him, Iris suddenly remembered. Barry was The Flash. Barry was the freakin' Flash! And he was hurt. Last night came back to her like a nightmare she tried to forget. For a brief moment she was back in the giant room, seeing Barry lying on that bed, dying while a desperate Caitlin tried to save his life.

"Is he okay?" Iris was mad at Barry, oh she was beyond mad for all the lies he told her, but her first instinct was still to protect him, after all she loved him. It was a strange thing to think about it for her. She never felt anything more for him than for a brother and Eddie was clearly the man she could imagine a future with, but a tiny little part of her also felt something for the Flash. She was almost embarrassed about it. She was crushing on him like a teenager on her favorite pop star only that she was no teenager anymore and he was a real life superhero. Now things changed. The man she had this ridiculous crush on was her best friend, her brother. She was confused, she didn't know what feelings were real and what weren't anymore.

"He is awake. Caitlin's running a few tests because the serum she used on him was not completely finished yet, but it seems like he is almost fully recovered." Cisco's words eased her heart. So he would be completely fine. He would live.

"You can go and talk to him or yell at him if you'd prefer that." He joked and grinned at her. "Second room on the left."

"Thanks." Iris took a deep breath. Of course she wanted to see him, she needed to confront him, needed answers. Before she finally fell asleep the previous night, she played through what felt like a hundred different scenarios in her head. She was making a scene, yelling, crying, punching him and in the end she would still hug him. In one scenario he even told her it was all a misunderstanding and there was no way he could be the Flash and that she simply lost her mind. _Wishful thinking._

She slowly made her way to the room Cisco told her Barry was in, her heart beating fast in her chest. Suddenly she felt nervous. _Ridiculous, this is Barry. This is still Barry, my Barry. _But how much of her Barry still existed? By now she figured out that the speed came after his coma and his miracle recovery, that there were many more his kind – metahumans as Cisco called them – and that the Star Labs team was working with him to get the most dangerous of them under control. That part was easy to understand on her own, what her mind couldn't or more refused to process was that Barry didn't trust her, _her _of all people. If he wanted to protect her fine, but she encountered dangerous metahumans without knowing his secret and maybe being _in on it _could've prevented it. She couldn't understand how he trusted Caitlin and Cisco more than her, people he knew for about one and a half years now but not his best friend since childhood.

Standing in front of Barry's door she clenched her fists. Part of her wanted to run as far away as possible, hide under a blanket and forget everything that happened during those last few hours. She wanted to go back to them just being Barry and Iris, best friends and partners in crime for life, she didn't want to be caught between Barry and the Flash.

She knocked on the door, no one answered. She knocked again and again and when still no one bothered to answer it, she just opened it.

"Barry Allen, for God's sake will you listen to me just once? I told you not to get up!" That was definitely Caitlin speaking.

"And I told you I feel fine!" Hearing Barry's voice almost made her heart jump out of her chest. He sounded like always, like the Barry she knew for all of her life. _But he is not the same guy anymore. _She wished she could just ignore that voice inside her head, but it was impossible.

She walked inside the room and found herself in front of a giant glass wall, Barry was on a bed on the other side, sitting up and watching Caitlin who stood in front of him, arms crossed.

"We don't know if the serum has any side effects, yet. It wasn't finished when I used it."

Iris just now realized that she heard Caitlin' voice over the speakers.

"I don't feel any side effects. Can't we just agree that you're a genius and saved my life again?"

Neither Barry nor Caitlin seemed aware of Iris's presence. She was thinking about saying something, but she was too fascinated at the scene in front of her. He may sounded like the Barry she knew, but this Barry, the one talking to Caitlin still seemed different to her. She couldn't even explain it, there was just something in the way he looked at her she had never seen before.

"You almost died." Caitlin's voice was shaking now, she just looked down on him and her expression almost broke Iris's heart. She remembered Caitlin's desperation, how she tried to save him and how she almost lost her nerves when she thought she couldn't.

"Hey…" Barry grabbed her hands and pulled her down to sit next to him. "I'm here. I'm fine." His voice turned from happy-go-lucky to soft and concerned in a second.

"You promised you would never leave me." Caitlin was fighting back her tears. "I know that it is not realistic to promise something like that, especially considering what we do but…"

He interrupted her by pulling her into his arms. "I wouldn't have gone after that fire guy if I had known that Snart was with him. I thought it was just the fire guy and I can handle fire pretty good, Ronnie taught me well."

Caitlin looked up and gave him a quick understanding not. They had come a long way together, they even could talk about Ronnie now without feeling awkward.

"I would never jump into a danger like that." Barry softly stroke her cheek. "I promised I would never leave you and maybe that is unrealistic but I'll do anything to keep my promise."

It struck Iris like a lightning bold and she cursed herself for not noticing it earlier. There was something going on between Barry and Caitlin. Of course, the way Caitlin reacted, talked to him and touched him the night before were obvious signs. She suddenly felt out of place, like she was spying on a private moment, she had no right to see, but still she couldn't turn away. They all were hanging out together occasionally, she, Barry, Caitlin, Cisco and Eddie. How didn't she notice? Why didn't he tell her he had feelings for Caitlin? He could've told her without revealing his other secret but he didn't.

Caitlin rested her forehead against Barry's. "You're _it, _Dr. Snow and you know how it goes, once you find _the one, _you never let her go….or something like that. I think Cisco talks about his suits that way."

Caitlin laughed, he always managed to make her laugh. Still, his words deeply touched her. "I love you." She said simply in return.

Barry grinned. "I love you, too." He then softly grabbed her cheeks and pulled her into a long, passionate kiss.

Caitlin smiled into the kiss. Last night was horrible and now he was here with her, she could feel him, taste him, she knew he would be alright.

Before she knew what was happening Barry used his speed to flip them around. Now she was lying under him.

"Barry!" She giggled. "No powers yet!"

He responded with pulling her into another long kiss.

Iris stumbled back to the door. _He loves her? _About a thousand thoughts were running through her head. If he loved her, then they probably were together for quite a while and yet he never even mentioned her in that way. She shared her fears and hopes about a future with Eddie with him and yet he said nothing. That guy inside wasn't just Barry kissing Caitlin, making promises of love, but also the Flash, the guy she had some kind of crush on kissing a woman.

Her head was pounding. What else did he keep from her? Yesterday they were joking around, having lunch together, embarrassing each other in front of Eddie with stories from High School and now she wasn't even sure if she knew that man who claimed to be her best friend at all anymore.

She walked back into the main room. She didn't see Dr. Wells, but Cisco was working on something that looked like a new Flash suit. _So that's how he gets them._

He didn't look up, but noticed her presence. "I didn't hear any shouting, did you decide to go easy on our boy?"

Iris sat down next to him, watching him work. "Caitlin was still running some tests and I didn't want to interrupt." She didn't even know why she was lying. She somehow felt uncomfortable talking about what she just witnessed.

Cisco lay the suit aside and shot Iris an amused look. "I get it, believe me. I've been there."

Iris raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Cisco chuckled. "Let's call it a Team Flash initiation ritual. The first time I walked in on them they were making out in a closet, total cliché and another time they were getting romantic over their speakers and forgot I was still listening as well." He shuddered. "But nothing tops poor Dr. Wells who forgot something here one night and well….his eyes may never recover from what he saw."

Iris hoped she wasn't blushing. Barry had girlfriends before, but this was _Barry_, she wasn't really thinking about him as a guy_ guy_. _But you thought differently when it was just the Flash. _She groaned in frustration, her feelings were getting out of control.

"How long…?" She knew instinctively it would torture her even more, knowing how long he has been lying to her about this particular detail of his life, but she needed to know. She guessed part of her was a masochist.

Cisco scratched his head. "Not sure exactly. Couple of months. I don't know when it all started, but I do know Ronnie complicated things for a while."

She didn't ask who Ronnie was, she didn't care. _Months. _

She looked around. The lab was a fascinating place to her and the reporter in her wanted to ask all these questions about how everything worked exactly and where they put the other metahumans and how the team operated exactly, but the simple Iris part of her was too hurt to ask any of them.

Dr. Wells entered the room. "There are no new activities yet from Mr. Snart or his new friend, but it is all a matter of time."

Iris watched him carefully. He was kind to her last night, but a part of him just creeped her out. There was just something…scratchy about him.

Cisco walked over to one of his computers. "I have no idea who that guy is, but if Iris is right and he is no metahuman than he has to be a genius to create something to control fire and heat. Still…if he is a normal human he shouldn't be a match for Barry."

_No match for Barry._

That sounded so wrong in Iris's ears. Barry was highly intelligent, compassionate and basically the best guy in the world, but he was no fighter. Hell, when they were kids she was the one defending him from other guys. She was getting bruises. Joe had to pick her up at the headmaster's office in middle school once because she punched a guy who was mean to Barry. Hearing people talk about him now like he was some kind of fighter slightly freaked her out.

"Barry might be able to handle this guy, but we cannot forget there are two of them." Wells said serious, "And I might remind you that one of them has a weapon that is able to kill even Barry." He shot Cisco a look she couldn't read, like he was blaming him for that Captain Cold guy, which didn't make sense to her. It was yet another story no one bothered to tell her.

"Captain Cold is a danger I get that. We have to stop him." Cisco said thoughtful.

"Maybe I just super sonic punch him into the next millennia." Barry entered the room followed by Caitlin. Iris's hands suddenly felt sweaty. She knew she eventually would have to talk to him.

"That would be awesome!" Cisco jumped from his chair and pulled Barry into a hug. "Glad you're okay buddy"

Barry smiled briefly but then his face turned serious and kind of angry, something Iris hadn't seen very often. Concern yes, anger not so much.

"We gave him a chance once," Barry said "He won't be so lucky next time he meets me."

This sounded so un-Barry to her. Caitlin grabbed his hand and squeezed it, they seemed so natural together. Nothing he said seemed to sound weird to her, like she knew him in and out. _Because he lets her see every side of him. _

"We still have to figure out a way to stop him without you freezing to death." Wells said.

"I'm working on it!" Cisco answered quickly.

Iris wasn't sure what to do, they had work to do and she was just standing there, watching them, doing nothing.

Barry finally gazed at her, he gulped and shot her a small smile. She didn't return it. He briefly looked a Caitlin who gave him a reassuring nod, before finally walking over to her.

Iris bit her lip. _Here goes nothing, _she thought. There was no way around it anymore, they would talk and then she could decide if she would ever be able to trust him anymore. They both knew that their relationship was already altered forever.

"We need to talk." They both said at the same time.

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><p><strong>I really hope Barry wasn't too OOC. I actually don't picture him as someone who would seriously threaten a villain, but I feel like after what happened and being the Flash for sometime in this story, he would be hardened a bit.<strong>

**Please leave some comments, it would be awesome :)**


	3. Chapter 3

_**AN:**___**Guys, thank you all so much for the great support. I'm so glad you're enjoying it so far. So, this is the ittle confrontation between Barry and Iris and I really tried to understand both sides here, which hopefully worked. **

**So, wasn't the Flarrow crossover the most awesome thing ever? I'm still high on it.**

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><p><em><strong>Part 3<strong>_

Barry stared at Iris for a couple of minutes now, not sure how start this very conversation. He decided being shot by Captain Cold and almost dying was a lot easier than to explain all his lies to her. He knew he screwed up, he felt sorry, yet at the same time there was a small part of him, that very part of him that got used to all the lies, the secret identity and double life, that wasn't sorry at all and it made him feel awful.

"Iris…" This was awkward or no, uncomfortable. Barry found it almost ironic. Iris was the one person he knew for all of his life and she was the one he couldn't talk to anymore, that was more than a bit screwed up. "I'm…I just wanted to say…"

"What Barry?" She snapped. "You want to apologize for lying to me? Trying to justify it?" She laughed bitterly, "Whatever you will say, it won't change a thing. You lied, you didn't trust me."

He went through his hair. He deserved all of her anger. "I just wanted to protect you." It was the lamest excuse in the world and as soon as he spoke it, he knew she wasn't having any of it.

Iris shook her head in disbelief. "Is that you talking or my dad?"

Barry's eyes widened. "You know that Joe knows?"

"Cisco told me." She said. When Barry was about to open his mouth she raised her hand to stop him. "Don't even think about blaming this on him. It slipped out by accident, but you know, wouldn't be a problem if the two people I thought I could trust unconditionally would've felt the same way about me." She knew that hit home.

Barry tried to stay as calm as possible, he needed to keep his emotions under control. He was angry. Angry at himself for lying and for being careless enough for her to find out in the way she did. "Iris, I know you're angry –"

"I'm not angry, Barry." And surprisingly even to herself, she meant it. "I'm hurt. I'm disappointed. I feel betrayed." She suppressed her tears, she didn't want him to see her cry.

Barry looked away. "That is even worse…right?" He whispered unsure.

She nodded sadly. "Yeah, that is even worse."

None of them said anything for a while. It hit her now completely, their friendship would never be the same again. Iris didn't want to think about it until this very moment, but she wasn't sure if she could ever look at him the same way she did before. On the outside he was still same old, regular Barry, but she saw something new now as well. She saw the Flash, a man she idolized, thought to be a hero, but in reality knew nothing about.

"How was keeping me in the dark protecting me? If anything it made things worse." She stated.

"It seemed like the right thing to do in the beginning…." He wanted to tell her about his powers when he first discovered them, but after encountering several dangerous metahumans he agreed with Joe that she was better off not knowing. He had several conversations with Oliver about it, who advised him to keep his secret as well and so he simply did. "Somewhere along the way, I just got used to it, I guess." He confessed. A part of him knew always that she deserved the truth, especially since she chased the Flash around anyways and therefore was always in danger of attacks, but something stopped him to tell her.

"You got _used _to lying to me?" Her voice was shaking now, it was heartbreaking for him to watch her like this. He hated it to be the one to cause her pain.

"It is hard to explain really…" He was absolutely sure he sounded pretty dumb in that moment, but he really had no idea how to explain it to her.

"Try me." She demanded. "I think you owe me that."

Barry wished Caitlin would be with him right now, to help him through it, she was better in stuff like that than him. He has always been a guy to wear his heart on his sleeve and to share most of his emotions openly, but in situations like this particular one he felt completely lost.

"Once you start lying in such a big fashion it easily starts to take over your life." He thought he sounded like Oliver at his worst grumpy moment and for some reason that kind of depressed him. "The truth becomes the lie and the lie becomes the truth and all that confusing stuff. I can't really tell you what happened, believe me I wish I could." He was desperate now, her eyes were teary, filled with disappointment and so much pain. He needed to start on a different angle. "I never meant to hurt you."

She bit her lip and looked down. "But you did." It was nothing he could change, even if he tried. "Was it funny to you?" She suddenly asked.

He didn't understand. "What do you mean?"

"You spent time with me as…the Flash." She still couldn't look at him and call him by the name she helped making popular. "You noticed right? The way I felt about him…about you?" She was embarrassed, felt a kind of humiliation she hadn't felt in years. "You knew I had that crush on you." Part of her wanted to correct herself, the crush was on the Flash, not on Barry, but they were one and the same, so what did that actually say about her own feelings?

Barry gulped. "I never made fun of you or wanted you to feel embarrassed. I just…I….Gosh, this hard." He walked around the room, his hand shaking in lighting speed without him even noticing it. He felt it in his gut, this was the moment to tell her everything, the complete truth. "I had feelings for you…not just you're my best friend feelings, if you know what I mean."

Iris just stared at him. She expected anything but that. Barry had feelings for her? But that wasn't possible, they were best friends since childhood, she would've notice right? _But there is so much I didn't notice._

"Because of my feelings, it kinda felt good…the way you looked at me even though you didn't know it was me, which was complicated, but…the point is that I'm sorry for being selfish, I just…I felt it was the only way for you to see me, _really _see me." He avoided to use the term _love _by explaining his feelings. Once upon a time he would've sworn that he loved her that she was the love of his life, but that was before Caitlin. Being with Caitlin made him question his very view on love. A part of him did love Iris, still loved her, but in a different way. She was the childhood dream, the one who has always been there, he thought that it was only natural for him to love her, _to be in love _with her. Now he knew that those feelings, as real as they might've been, were an innocent puppy love. Sweet kisses on the cheek, big romantic gestures and declarations under the moonlight, stuff romantic movies have been made of. His love for Caitlin was different. Messy and passionate, frustrating and sometimes insane, loving, sweet even, yet full of fire. She completed him in a way he never thought was possible. If becoming the Flash was one piece of the puzzle to become the person he was meant to be, Caitlin was the other one. They challenged it each other, made each other better and even if his feelings for Iris were intense, he knew now that they wouldn't have worked together, that they were only meant to be friends and that was enough for him. He loved her, but now he could place that love.

"I can't believe this….all this time…." Iris needed to process his confession. _What did he mean by __**really seeing him**__? _She looked at his face, he obviously waited for more of a reaction, but she wasn't sure what to say. Instead she started to study him. She tried to look beyond the Barry she knew, decided it was time to open her eyes. They've been together for so long now, that maybe she really forgot to take a closer look. Iris always though no one knew Barry better than her and know she questioned if she knew him at all. Intelligent. Nerdy. Warmhearted. Awkward. Emotional. Supportive. Always there. Funny. Constantly late. Self-aware. Too nice to be true. That was her Barry. The Barry she grew up with. Closing her eyes for a moment she now added what she thought of the Flash. Brave. Selfless. Cocky. Heroic. Charming. Powerful. Mysterious. She opened her eyes again and tried to picture Barry as the Flash, for real this time, yes she saw him in the costume, but until now it still felt unreal to her. She focused on her meetings with the Flash, trying to see Barry behind the mask. The way he talked, even with his voice in disguise, his movements and how he always cared for her. Was the Flash the real Barry? The man he has been all along, but she couldn't see? How did she never notice anything? She thought her head would explode any second.

"Iris?" Barry asked concerned. "Are you okay? Did I fry your brain? I mean not literally because I can't do that, I really didn't want to overload you, I mean it's kind of a circumstanced overload…still…please just say something, you're freaking me out here."

"You're the Flash." She said.

Barry raised his eyebrows. "Thanks for noticing." He said and immediately he regretted the cockiness, "Sorry, but I thought that was the whole point of this conversation."

"It just, hit me. I know it is you, but knowing and believing is something else." She explained. "I never noticed. None of it. That it is you, that you had feelings for me…I'm sorry."

Barry softly touched her arm, but backed off when she slightly jerked away. Too early. "There is nothing you have to be sorry about. I'm the one who lied to you."

She didn't disagree on that, but she couldn't shake that feeling, that maybe a part of her was to blame as well. "Why did you never tell me?"

"Told you, first because I wanted to protect you –"

"No, no that." She cut him off. "The other thing."

"Oh." He put his hands into his pockets and looked around, suddenly feeling embarrassed. "I didn't want to ruin our friendship and then you were with Eddie and you seemed really happy." He tried his best to sound as causal as possible, but even with his feelings now being completely platonic, it was a hard time seeing her with Eddie in the beginning.

Iris saw him with Caitlin before, so she was one hundred percent sure his feelings were gone, but a part of her still wondered "what if". What if Eddie never happened? What if Barry had confessed? What if she knew he was the Flash before he started dating Caitlin? She was confused.

"You don't have to feel sorry or anything." He said, "I'm over it."

He thought she was feeling sorry for him when in reality, she wasn't sure what she felt anymore. "You're with Caitlin." She didn't know why she said it. "And you didn't tell me about that either." She didn't want to come off as a jerk really, more accusations weren't necessary but it was the only way for her to deal with everything right now.

"You noticed that." He swallowed.

"I saw you two together." She answered.

Barry blushed. "Oh." He wondered how much she actually saw and decided to push that thought away as far as possible or he would never able to look her in the eyes again. "I didn't tell you because it…would've complicated things." Actually there was no reason for him not to tell her, it just kind of happened, like the other lies to keep her away.

"You could've told me at least this. You are in a relationship…" _In love with someone, _"And you didn't tell me about it. That has nothing to do with you being The Flash."

She was right, of course she was right. By lying to her about one thing, he slowly started to exclude her from his life and he wasn't sure he could ever fix that. "I wish I could tell you that I knew how to make this up to you, how to fix us, but I have no idea." He admitted. "Being the Flash has become a part of me and I love it. I gained so many great things with it, amazing friends, more of a second really _really _dysfunctional family…" he chuckled. Iris wondered if he was only talking about Caitlin and Cisco or if there was more she didn't know. Before she could ask, he continued. "But I lost you. You didn't know it until last night, but I…I have known for a while now. Sometime I would tell you or you would find out and…" He shot her a sad smile, "and I would lose you to my own lies. By trying to protect you, I pushed you away and I cannot change that, no matter how much I want it."

"Barry, you are my best friend and I just don't understand why you did that, I get you had your reasons but I wish you would've chosen to trust me, to believe that I can handle myself." No matter how hard she fought her tears before, she couldn't hold them back anymore. "I want to forgive you, I want to save this friendship, but I –" She never got to finish the sentence. Cisco burst into the room laughing awkwardly.

"Guys, sorry to interrupt but Joe just called."

They followed Cisco back into the main lab. Caitlin immediately walked over to Barry and squeezed his hand. "You okay?"

He slowly shook his head. She put a small kiss on his knuckles. "You will be, you both will be."

He softly kissed her forehead. "I hope so."

Iris tried not to look at them, but again she couldn't help it. Seeing them so familiar and comfortable with each other felt like a stab through the heart. Not because of her crush on the Flash, but because she was no longer the one to comfort him. She was not the one he shared his secrets with, his worries and fears, she was not the one helping him doing good or being at his side when he needed someone and it hurt like hell. Ever since his mother died, she was the person he came to and now she had been replaced.

"Joe said that Captain Cold's Rogues were robbing a jewelry store, but neither he or Heat Wave were with them, so maybe they're planning something big." Cisco explained briefly.

"His _Rogues_?" Barry asked amused, he needed to push his feelings aside and concentrate on the job, concentrate of being himself.

Caitlin sighed. "His first try was _Cold and the Gang _so be happy with what we got."

They all shared a light laughter together and Iris felt like an outsider again. She knew Barry meant it when he said he wanted to make things up to her, but how do you suddenly include someone new in a personal little universe like they created. They shared experiences, stories and jokes she didn't understand. They were a team, a well-oiled machine and she was the visitor.

"We need a strategy." Dr. Wells said. "For now Snart and is partner are maybe out of the picture but it is only a matter of time until they will strike again."

Barry crossed his arms. "I know Captain Cold is there now, so I'll be prepared. None of them is metahuman right? I should be able to kick their butts."

"It is still a risk." Caitlin reminded him.

Cisco grinned mischievously. "Don't you worry your pretty little heads. While you were knocked out cold, no pun intended and afterwards when you two were playing doctor –"

"Cisco!" Caitlin hissed.

"I was working on something." He made a dramatic pause. "Oh and I called in the B Team."

"If you call us that again, I will shoot you." A voice said from behind.

Cisco flinched. "I'll never get used to that creepy ninja timing." He turned around and smiled when Oliver walked in. Right behind him as always Diggle and Felicity. "Nice seeing you, guys. Please don't shoot me."

"He won't." Felicity said apologetic before glaring and Oliver, "You won't!"

He chuckled and shrugged at Cisco. "Who do I have to shoot then? Heat guy or Cold guy? Can't remember their silly nicknames."

"What the hell is going on here?" Iris asked.

Felicity turned around on her heals to face her. "Iris? You know?" She turned to Barry. "Since when does she know? Why didn't you tell us? Do I need an abo for the Flash newsletter now?"

"She just found out." Barry said uncomfortably.

Iris looked from Barry to Felicity to Oliver. "They all know as well? What…I thought no more lies."

She didn't understand the world anymore. Felicity knew? Oliver Queen knew? That guy she didn't even know? What were they all to Barry? Why did he trust them but not her? Or did they find out the same way she did?

"Well…" Diggle said putting his equipment down and looked at Oliver, "Guess you can add another one to the list of people in the know as well."

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed it and you know comments are always welcome ;)<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

_**AN: **___**Wow guys, don't know what to say. Thank you so much for your great response. Anyone else emotionally unstable thanks to both mid-season finales? That were two fine hours of television.**

**Anyways, hope you enjoy that chapter ;)**

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><p><em><strong>Part 4<strong>_

"You're the Arrow?" It was the third time Iris asked that question now and Felicity sensed that Oliver was losing his patience. He hated it when people found out his secret, especially when he was forced to reveal it and Iris was no exception. He liked her, but didn't know her that well. She was glad he didn't kill anymore or she would fear for Cisco's life. He called Team Arrow to help them in a case, but he failed to mention the little "Iris is here and knows" detail.

"Yes." Oliver clenched his teeth and tried to sound as friendly as possible.

"When I found out he was bleeding all over my backseat because his mother shot him." Felicity started to babble again, oh how she hated herself for it.

"Felicity!" Oliver hissed.

"Sorry, no more details now." She said and shot him an apologetic smile. His face softened immediately and he seemed to calm down. She was glad that she had that kind of effect on him.

Iris leaned back into her chair, as if Barry being the Flash and the fact that he once loved her weren't enough, now she also had to find out that her not so secret crush Oliver Queen was the Arrow. "You know, it strangely makes sense." Iris said more to herself than to the rest of the group. "Everytime Arrow showed up in Central City, you guys were visiting."

"We need to work on our cover stories." Diggle murmured.

"You guys are partners." She pointed between Oliver and Barry.

"I wouldn't call it that." Oliver started, "We are more like…."

"We're friends and friends help each other." Barry shot him a big grin, he knew Oliver long enough to know how to annoy him.

"Right…" Oliver hated to admit it, but Barry was right. It still wasn't easy for him to work with others, but he appreciated Barry and his team. They were his friends and when Cisco called and told him Barry had been hurt it wasn't even a choice to leave for Central City immediately.

Iris wasn't really sure what to think anymore. So many secrets, so many lies. "Are there more? Like is there a secret league of superheroes?"

"Not that we know off, but it would be awesome!" Cisco answered. "Can we create one?"

Caitlin elbowed him. "Shut up, please."

"No superhero league." Felicity said. "Well there is a League of Assassins…"

Iris eyes widened. "What?" She shook her head, "Nevermind, that's too much already for one day."

Felicity felt sorry for her. Iris's whole world came crashing down on her and there was no way she could make it easier for her. She remembered when she first found out about Oliver, but the situation was different. Felicity, even while attracted to him at the time, didn't know him that well. The trust, friendship and love came later, Iris however grew up with Barry. They were best friends who trusted each other, until the Flash happened.

"Can we put our focus back on Mr. Snart and his unknown partner, please?" Dr. Wells said. "I know you all have a lot to discuss, but work comes first."

Oliver shot him a suspicious look Iris didn't understand. She briefly turned her attention to Felicity and noticed a silent conversation between them. _What was that all about?_

"I will see if I can find some footage on our fire guy. Maybe we can identify him." Felicity walked over to the computers like she did it a million times before and Iris wondered how long that partnership between Flash and Arrow has been going on. So many people knew Barry's secret and she wasn't one of them.

"Hey, where's my man Roy?" Cisco suddenly asked.

"We were observing a new drug lord in town." Diggle explained "and someone needs to stay on the job."

Felicity looked up from her computer. "He is always excited when he gets a solo mission." She smiled warmly.

Barry crossed his arms. "You're not worried to leave him all alone?"

"Lyla is keeping an eye on him." Diggle said briefly and that settled the conversation. Again Iris felt like an outsider. She didn't know Roy or Lyla and wasn't sure she ever would. She knew it was wrong, but all she could think about was that those were two people more who knew who Barry really was. She looked over to him. He was engaged in a conversation with Oliver she only half listened to. For what felt like the thousandth time this day she observed him. He was being goofy, making fun and obviously enjoying to annoy Oliver, but as soon as they started to talk business something in him changed. His whole mannerisms were different. He was barely moving, unusually calm and collected, he was one hundred percent focused and even his voice sounded different. It hurt her that there was a side to Barry, _her _Barry, she didn't know, but at the same time it was fascinating.

"Two of us, two of them should be easy." Oliver said.

Diggle rolled his eyes. "Except for their super weapons or whatever they have."

Oliver shrugged. "We dealt with worse. Since Leonard Snart is a danger to you, I guess I will take care of him."

Barry said nothing for a moment. Iris was curious what would happen next. Usually she could predict Barry, but not now, not this other Barry.

"Snart is mine." He finally said in a much stronger voice than she ever heard from him.

"Kid, I know you're angry, but – " Diggle started but Oliver cut him off. "I understand." He said much to Barry's surprise.

"You do?" Barry raised an eyebrow. Usually Oliver was scolding him when suggested something stupid like that, now he was on his side.

"It is personal. I get that. I will take the fire guy then." He shot him a blink and you miss it smile before turning to Cisco. "Anything that will help?"

Cisco grinned like a Cheshire Cat. "Thought you never asked." He walked over to the table with the new Flash suit he was working on. "It will take a couple of hours to finish it but this baby will work miracles against Captain Cold."

"What's so different about it?" Barry asked, his voice now filled with excitement.

"This suit can heat up itself. The faster you run, the more heat will be given off. It should perfectly counter Captain Cold's gun." Cisco explained.

"And how will it not burn me?" Barry asked.

"That's what I'm working on…" Cisco answered, "But I promise it will work…it should work. I call it Flash on Fire." He said proudly before moving across the room. He pressed a button and a door opened, revealing weapons and several unfinished Arrow suits.

"What is that?" Oliver asked, trying to hide his amazement.

"Something I've been working on." Cisco was excited beyond words, he loved it being the personal fitter for not one, but two heroes. "I'll call it the Arrowlicious collection."

"Don't do that." Oliver said.

"Ever." Felicity added from behind.

"Anyways," Cisco continued and grabbed one of the suits, "This one just needs the finishing touch and you can use it. I'm especially proud of it since it is very tolerant to heat."

Oliver suppressed an amazed 'cool' and just took the suit from Cisco. "Thanks, that'll do."

Felicity looked at Diggle and giggled softly. "What he wants to say is, he is grateful for your help and all the hard work Cisco and he thinks the suit is awesome."

"What she said." Oliver said more lightly than before.

"How long until you finish everything?" Dr. Wells asked.

"Give or take maybe five to six hours, let's hope no attack until then."

Caitlin stretched her arms. "Then I guess it's okay for me to rush home and get some new clothes. I've been wearing this for far too long."

"I can run you home." Barry said.

Caitlin softly slapped his arm. "No powers yet, you're still recovering. I can take the car."

"But – "He wanted to argue but she cut him off with a quick kiss. "Don't even think about arguing with me, Barry Allen." She looked over her shoulder to Oliver, "Don't let him do anything stupid until I'm back."

Oliver chuckled. "Doctor's order, I get it."

Caitlin grabbed her jacket and bag and was ready to leave when Iris walked over to her. "I need some fresh air, do you mind if I join you?" She didn't know why she was asking that question, it seemed stupid to her, but somehow her gut told her it was the right decision.

Caitlin didn't really know how to react. "Alright…if you like."

"Thanks." Iris answered and they left the lab.

Barry stared after them. "I don't think I like this."

Caitlin didn't like it either. She and Iris were friends, well something like that at least. It wasn't like with her and Felicity but they spent some time together and she genuinely liked her. She could understand why she meant so much to Barry. Iris was always positive, sweet, nice and impossible not to like. Caitlin knew she was hurting and she wanted her to feel better, still being alone with her now felt uncomfortable.

Iris didn't say anything, she just looked outside the window. Being out of the lab felt good to her, it was like entering reality again after a strange dream. She didn't know where Caitlin lived but she hoped the ride would take a while.

"I'm sorry, we should've told you." Caitlin said.

"What exactly? The Flash thing, the Arrow, your relationship?" Iris sounded so exhausted and Caitlin hoped she wouldn't collapse. If she knew anything than it was the human body and science and Iris didn't look so well after everything she had been through during that last couple of hours.

"Everything, I guess." She answered honestly.

Iris said nothing, she studied the area outside. It looked strangely familiar. Caitlin suddenly parked the car. "Wait a second…this is Barry's apartment." Iris said irritated. _Didn't she say something about going home?_

Caitlin fished her keys out of her back. "Yeah. My house is too far away and I have most of my clothes here anyways." She opened the door and quickly greeted a neighbor who walked passed them.

Iris followed here inside. Barry was mostly hanging out at her Dad's place or at his lab, so she didn't remember the last time she was actually in his apartment, but she immediately noticed the difference. "Everything looks so nice." She said somewhat astonished.

Caitlin placed her bag on a little table in front of the sofa. "I made him clean up and get some new stuff." She explained, "Do you want some coffee?"

"Barry's coffee machine is broken." She stated. "It is broken for about two years now." She didn't say that she was the one who accidentally killed it.

"He bought a new one, I get cranky when I don't have coffee in the morning." Caitlin said and got two cups out of the cardboard. "Make yourself at home, I'm going change." She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. Iris was already feeling bad about being left out and now she walked around like she owned the place. "Iris, I'm so sorry."

Iris smiled sadly. "I'm fine." Both women knew she wasn't.

While Caitlin was changing Iris walked around in Barry's small living room. Everything seemed so familiar yet so different. There was so much stuff that just screamed Barry, comic books, a telescope, an R2D2 plush toy, but there was also stuff that belonged to Caitlin now. Medical Science magazines, nail polish and books that were definitely not Barry's taste. The apartment mirrored her current feelings towards Barry perfectly, it was familiar, yet alien.

She spotted some pictures on the little sideboard on the wall. There was one of his parents and one of her, Joe and Barry when they were kids. She smiled at the memory, it was Barry's 11th birthday and her dad had taken them to a theme park. There were also pictures she didn't know. One of him and Caitlin looking at each other lovingly, another one of him, Cisco and Caitlin in the lab. And then there was this one picture with just the two of them. It was taken after their High School Graduation. They were still wearing their graduations caps and coats, he was carrying her on his back and they were both smiling into the camera.

She grabbed the picture and sat down with it. How much she would give to go back to that day, to go back to them being the way they were. Tears were falling down her cheeks. Even a few hours back would've been enough. She always wanted to know who the Flash really was and now she would do anything to not know it anymore. She just wanted her best friend back.

She started to sob hysterically and didn't even notice when Caitlin sat down next to her and pulled her into her arms.

"It will be alright." Caitlin whispered. "Just let it out, okay? Keeping it in won't be good for you."

Iris didn't know how long she cried, she just couldn't stop. Everything came crashing down on her and she couldn't control it anymore. "Why did lie to me? Why didn't he trust me? I have the feeling I don't know him anymore. I just want my Barry back."

Caitlin softly stroke the back of her head. When her relationship with Barry started she had moment where she felt threatened by Iris. Barry loved her for so long, that she had been afraid he would eventually go back to wanting to be with her. But now she was confident in her relationship and seeing Iris like this was just devastating.

"He is still your Barry, just with a little bit more speed." Caitlin wasn't good in lightning the mood, that was more a Barry or Cisco thing to do, but she tried her best. "Look, Iris, " she searched for her eyes, "No one can change what happened and I'm sure Barry told you why he did what he did, but he is sorry, we are all sorry that you are hurt. But never think you don't know Barry, he is and will forever be your best friend."

Iris slowly calmed down. "I have the feeling there are two Barrys now and I don't know which one is real. Silly, I know."

Caitlin handed her a tissue. "No, not silly at all. It is hard to process I get that. I don't know him as long as you do, but I believe the Flash has always been a part of him, he just needed some time to find it."

"Maybe…" Was it really like this? Has there always been that side to Barry and she just didn't notice it? Maybe because he didn't notice it himself? "I still feel like he changed…that he moved forward without me."

"Change doesn't always have to be a bad thing." Caitlin nipped at her cup of coffee. "I was engaged once, his name was Ronnie."

Iris remembered Cisco talking about Ronnie before.

"I though he died when the particle accelerator exploded." Even if she was happy now, talking about it still hurt, "Turned out he didn't. It was complicated for a while, he wanted me to stay away from him and naturally I couldn't. When we finally started to reconnect it just didn't feel right anymore. We both changed that night, became different people. He is traveling now, helping people. And I found Barry."

Iris said nothing, she didn't know this about Caitlin, there was so much she didn't know, but she wanted to learn more. She wanted to be part of Barry's world, wanted to know his new friends and get to know more about the woman he loved. "I can't forgive him right away."

"No one asks you to." Caitlin put her cup away and squeezed Iris's hand. "But give him a chance, let him show you all sides of him."

Caitlin smiled encouraging. Iris could suddenly see why Barry was in love with her. She was not only incredible beautiful and smart, but also supportive, warm and compassionate.

"We should probably head back." Iris said and got up.

Caitlin nodded. "Yes, we should."

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><p><em><strong>Leave a review and let me know what you think :)<strong>_


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